Inside of all of us there is a constant battle between doing what is right and what is wrong. Our own moral code decides which side wins and why. But have we ever looked into the thought process of why we struggle with this issue. Surely it would make prefect sense to only do right by others as well as to yourself, so then why are there moments when we are blinded by the haze?
None of us can say we are free from this as much as we like to think otherwise. Recently psychological studies have shown that everyone has similar thoughts, about just as often and it is our nature that determines how we respond to this.
By now I hope you would understand that I suffer from mental illness, obsession compulsion disorder to name one, which means that any negative thought that comes into my head has a deeper meaning that it actually does. It is true that my thoughts are no better or worse than yours however my fear of what it means has impact. Just to clarify people with OCD tend to be the safest people around as their moral code is so high that to do anything contradictory to it would have sever emotional effects.
Let me paint a picture.
Over the last few months more and more reports of animal cruelty have been spreading around the internet. The acts of some people are so barbaric that it enrages me. Now with this emotional hype I find that my daydreams are over come with the image to inflect the same pain into the torturers. Once the mist fades the same scene plays in my mind and my actions are more inclined to help the animal once I have freed it from the evil it faces.
Am I a bad person to have such violent thoughts at first reaction to hearing such news? I believe that I am not. Yes the anger is there but my nature could never justify inflecting pain into another person even if they may deserve it.
Now I am only one person, there are countless people out there that go through the same and act differently. Some would happily take the opportunity to cause injury to tormentor and even record evidence of it to share.
Looking at people like me who cannot bare the thought of hurting another living creature let alone commit the crime. We still go through this inner battle. Why when we know that our being is founded on goodness are we so easily plagued?
If you look at the religious concept we can see that records have shown that the battle between light and dark has always been present. The devil doesn’t want a bad soul as much as he wants a good one. To claim such a soul is a victory to him and therefore putting images of evil into our head, especially at times when such acts are possible; for example the idea of pushing some one when they are standing at the top of the stairs; is a form of temptation/encouragement to us. This could be thought of as an internal holy war, maybe even the greatest war we will ever have to face.
If we look at the same through the eyes of science we could proclaim that it is just a matter of the brain filling in gaps in our time when it is not being fully activated. At this stage in our evolution where we have invented boredom such gaps happen more often that not.
So what does it all mean?
It is my belief that there is no one answer. Whether you take a religious or scientific view on it, it makes no difference. These internal battles of dark and light thoughts are forever occurring within us and it ultimately falls on our behaviours and how we respond to it that determines who we are. As much as we like to think that people are either good or bad the reality is that no one is one or the other. We are all going through the same battle every day and it is our choices that result in the consequences. We all make mistakes or do things deliberately and either we repent or we embrace. Each one of us is the poison and the cure to our own life, so don’t feel that you are the only one to struggle.
I will leave you with this final message. We all have the right to be here, share the kindness and share the love.